Not Just Friends by Jay Northcote

Author:Jay Northcote [Northcote, Jay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay & Lesbian, Literature & Fiction, Fiction, Gay, Romance, Contemporary, Gay Romance, Genre Fiction
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2014-02-22T23:00:00+00:00

LEWIS WAS under a cloud for the next couple of days. He tried really hard not to mope, and poured all his energy into studying. He got up early and went to the library before his lectures, and he managed to get his essay finished. He even started his reading for the next one, which wasn’t due in until the end of November.

Lewis didn’t have to tell Amanda things hadn’t gone well with Max. As soon as she saw him on Tuesday, it must have been obvious. They walked back together under a gray sky that matched Lewis’s mood perfectly, and he spilled his guts to her. It was such a relief to have someone he could say it all to.

“Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” She frowned. “This is more than just a crush. Maybe if he knew that, it would make a difference if he’s just afraid of being hurt again. What have you got to lose?”

“My pride?” Lewis suggested. But he didn’t really care about that. If he believed telling Max he thought he might be a little bit in love with him—if love meant thinking about him all the time, and aching because he couldn’t have him—would help to change Max’s mind, then Lewis would take the chance and tell him. But it wasn’t as simple as that. Things were already strained between them, and Lewis thought any declarations of passion would make it impossible for them to act normally around each other. He sighed and pushed his tangled fringe out of his eyes. He really needed a haircut. “I don’t want to fuck up our friendship,” he told her. “I’d rather be friends with him than lose that. And if I tell him how crazy I am about him, then he’s just going to feel guilty, and it will be really fucking awkward. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me—that would be so humiliating.”

“I guess so.” Amanda was silent for a moment. “So you’re just going to try and move on, then, and find other fish to fry? Or should that be fish in the sea?” She frowned.

Lewis chuckled despite himself. “Either works. And yes, I suppose I am eventually. There’s no rush, though.”

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